For many years, I had a secret identity. I was “Susan” of the MMI’s “Ask Susan” advice column. The truth of how this came about is far less exciting than it seems—I inherited the column from someone named Susan.

After answering more than 30,000 questions, I “retired’ from the column. Today, the column is called The Advice Team and questions are answered by some of the most qualified people in the industry. Thankfully, I still get to fill in when one of them goes on vacation because I really love talking (or in this case, typing) with people one-on-one. During my most recent stint as a substitute, I noticed that several people were worried about how their personal relationships are being negatively impacted by money. In case you are struggling with the topic of friends and finance, following are a few of the questions I received and answered.

Dear Advice Team: I let my friend and his wife borrow $2,500 more than a year ago. They are making payments as agreed, but I can’t help to get annoyed when I see them spending money frivolously. They even went on a trip recently—I can’t even afford to do that! What can I do about this situation? -Steve, Minnesota

Steve: While you may not agree with all of their spending decisions, at least they are keeping their promise to pay you back. I believe that when you lend someone money, it is important not to assume a position of power. Being too authoritative could damage your friendship.

•••

Dear Advice Team: In October, I loaned my friend of 12 years $4,000. I wrote her a personal check for the amount of the loan. She verbally agreed to pay me back all of her income tax refund. Well, she got her income tax and spent it all, without notifying me. I called her and she said that she would pay me $100/week until balance was paid. That was three weeks ago and I haven’t heard from her. I am a single parent and trying to go to school. She knows I need it. What can I do? -Cheryl, Phoenix

David: I am sorry you are dealing with this delicate issue. Since your friend has not kept her end of the bargain, it is past time that you begin treating the loan like you would any other business matter. Discuss the terms of the agreement and put the details in writing. Be sure to list both parties involved, the interest rate, due dates, payment amounts, and penalty for late or missed payments. Document the date and time of any letters or phone calls, and be sure to make note of all the responses to your attempts. Your records may be necessary if you plan to take the matter to court, or if you plan to write the debt off as non-business bad debt on your next tax return.

•••

Dear Advice Team: I recently co-signed for a car loan for a friend. This “friend” has duped me and she won’t pay. My question is: how can I get my name removed from the loan? I don’t want to pay for a car for her. Her name is on the title and she has a car free of charge! I have learned my lesson; I just want to know what can be done—before my credit is ruined. -Mark, Tennessee

Mark: Helping someone obtain their goals can be very rewarding; however, far too many friendships end when money is involved. Unfortunately, there is no simple way to “remove” your name from a cosigned loan. In order for the primary borrower to assume total responsibly for the debt, she would have to apply for a new loan and qualify on her own. (I am assuming that this is not possible or you wouldn’t have been asked to cosign in the first place.) Talk to your friend about selling the car and repaying the loan. Seek mediation if necessary. If this is not possible, you might consider protecting your credit rating by making the payments to the creditor yourself and then collecting from her. Because the stakes are so high, I recommend that you seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities.

•••

If you have a question for the Advice Team, please don’t hesitate to ask!

A while back, I participated in a televised call-in show about kids and money with members of the Jump$tart Coalition. In preparation, I posed questions to a group really talented, dedicated people from organizations like Young Americans Bank, The American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, and the Financial Planning Association. The result is one heck of a resource on kids and money with topics covering budgeting, credit, cars, school/college, and jobs.

Yesterday, I covered kids and budgeting. Today, I’m going to share a some questions and answers about credit. (Disclaimer: not every answer will reflect the views of all participating organizations.)

How old do you have to be to get a credit card?
There is no specific age; however, creditors have their own policies regarding issuing credit to young adults. Most creditors will not issue a card to someone who is under the age of 18 because (in most states) they are not yet legally able to enter into a contract and cannot necessarily be held to the agreement. There are cards available to younger teens, but most require someone over the age of 18 to cosign. To learn your state’s laws, contact your local consumer protection office. To find yours, visit the Federal Citizen Information Center’s website at ConsumerAction.gov.

Can a minor have a credit history?
Yes, if someone under the age of 18 has credit and their creditor reports to the credit bureaus, it is possible for them to have a credit history. Under the FACT Act, every consumer is entitled to one free copy of each of their three credit reports each year. To access these reports, visit AnnualCreditReport.com.

Can I keep them from getting a credit card?
No, I do not know of any way to prevent them getting a credit card. That is why it is so important that you educate your teen about the proper use of credit. For information on teaching teens about money, check out the National Endowment for Financial Education’s great publication titled Simple Steps to Raising a Money-Smart Child.

Should I list my teen as an authorized user on my credit cards?
This is an individual decision. As the primary card holder, you would be 100% responsible for changes made to the card. However, because you have control over the account, it is a safe alternative to cosigning. Just be aware that your teen might not benefit from your good payment history—ask the lender if they report to the authorize user’s credit files. Many do not.

Should I cosign for a credit card?
The decision to cosign a loan for someone or not comes down to this: Are you willing to pay the debt? If you are not willing to assume totally responsibility, you should not agree to sign for the loan. Consider a debit card as an alternative. Or, if your goal is to help your teen establish credit, they could get a secured or prepaid credit card instead (see next question).

How can they establish good credit?
The most important thing they can do is to pay their bills on time and as agreed. A secured credit card would be a good, safe way to prove they can do this. With a secured card, your teen makes a deposit into a savings account with a bank to secure a line of credit. The credit card company then issues them a card and a line of credit for at least the amount of their deposit. To get a list of major banks that issue secured credit cards, visit CardTrak.com.

Why do creditors market to teens?
While we cannot speak on behalf of all creditors, it is probably safe to say that they want their future business. In fact, some studies show that students switch cards less often than the general public and they tend to remain loyal to the company that issued them their first card.

What is the difference between a debit card, credit card & secured card?
Debit cards are not actually credit cards. Debit cards are offered by financial institutions to making banking simpler. When you use a debit card, the money is automatically deducted from your bank account. On the other hand, with credit cards, issuers allow consumers to borrow money and, if they choose, repay over time. Secured credit card issuers require you to make a deposit with their institution in an amount equal to your line of credit.

Am I responsible for their debt?
If you are not “listed on” the account in any way, such as being a cosigner, then you should not be held responsible for the debt. However, it is not uncommon for young adults to need their parent’s assistance with debt problems. Therefore, credit education and open communication are very important.

What is the worst that can happen if they cannot pay their debts?
Most obviously, they can ruin their chances of obtaining future credit for the next seven years. If the creditor decided to pursue collection efforts, what is possible depends on state laws. Each state sets laws as to what, and how, a creditor can collect on a delinquent account. Some states can force you to sell some of your assets to satisfy a judgment. To learn your state’s laws, contact your local consumer protection office. To find yours, visit the Federal Citizen Information Center’s website at ConsumerAction.gov.